Is Survivor Sexist?

Back in May I watched about five seasons of Survivor over a period of two weeks. I was visiting a friend and we had nothing else to do. It is one of my favorite shows and I could watch another five seasons in the next two weeks if I wanted to. It's exciting, intriguing, and funny.

But is it sexist? There are more older men than older women, men's age and experiences are appreciated more, most of the women are thin while the men's builds have more diversity. In the season that is on now there is more blatant sexism than there has been before. Almost every episode, the fact that older women with children are being made fun. 

During Redemption Island, a place where players voted out of the game have a chance to go back into the game, the winner of the challenge is allowed to give a hidden immunity idol clue to a player still in the game. Candace, with malice toward Brad Culpepper for voting her husband out of the game, has the clue given to Brad's wife Monica. As soon as Monica receives the clue, Brad tells her three times to throw the clue into the fire. Earlier, Candace told her husband, John, that they should give the immunity idol clue to Monica. Jeff, the host of Survivor, made fun of John for listening to his wife, which is obviously weak. Right afterward Brad yelled at his wife to throw the clue away. Candace says to Monica, "Are you going to listen to that," which is what Jeff said to John when he listened to his wife. Jeff retorted, "That's the first time that's ever happened." This implies that women never listen to their husbands, making them seem like bitches.

Of course this could be edited this way or done on purpose to add a little drama, but why is that even okay? I still enjoy this show and I know that comments like that aren't okay, but there are still people out there agree with it/think it's funny.

I saw this on Facebook and the first thought I had was: "This is ridiculous." First of all, it's obviously made for Girls Only (see the top left corner). The little girl in the bottom right looks Hispanic, which could be considered racist. I honestly would have really enjoyed this as a child; it's along the same line as play kitchens. The problem I have with it is that it is not gender neutral. It's sexist to assume only girls want to lean how to clean/push around a fake cleaning trolley.

Then I found this with a simple Google search and I feel much better. It has gender neutral colors and it shows a boy, the non-traditional sex, playing with the toy.

Women have been taught that they are not meant to be pleasured during sex. We didn't even know that a woman could even have an orgasm for the longest time. Some women today don't even know how to give themselves orgasms and are taught that masturbating and figuring out what their bodies can do themselves is wrong and even perverse.  Our husbands are the ones who are supposed to give us the orgasms and we are supposed to sit back and let them figure it out themselves. Only about 30% of women can have an orgasm from penetration, leaving the other 70% to rely on oral sex or some other type of stimulation. Of course this is a perfectly fine way for women to get an orgasm, but a guy isn't "obligated" to please his woman once he has had his orgasm (so get yours first, ladies). In porn women moan and groan and scream and cry at the slightest touch, and this is highly unrealistic. Of course, women make noises, but usually not as much or not as loud (and not as fake...) in real life. In class we talked about why a woman would do this. We said that she would do it to please her partner so he feels good about himself during sex. But wouldn't it make him feel worse if he knew that he wasn't pleasing her the right way?
In magazines like Cosmo, there are a ton of articles about how to please your man. These aren't all sexual (and not horrible) but they reminded me of a 1950's "housewife guide."

I started listening to Lorde not to long ago and I've enjoyed pretty much everything I've heard. I love her music, the lyrics, her voice, her style, her hair... overall she's pretty awesome. And she's 16. I was surprised because I thought she was in her 20's. She looks and sounds like it at least. I'm not complaining; she still dresses and acts appropriately for her age and she is very talented and not overtly sexual. 

She just seems to be your average (besides the fact that she is world-famous...), awkward 16 year old. I like that she isn't drop dead gorgeous either. She is very very uniquely pretty, but not your typical magazine-bombshell. Her music is a little different from most of the stuff we hear on the radio today too. I highly recommend her for people looking for some new music to listen to. 

When I think of porn, I think of sexy women and big penises. Or, if it doesn't involve a big penis, it's a big dildo. There's always some sort of penis involved, real or fake. Women can only get off by penetration it seems like. Of course there is oral sex but it looks like it would do absolutely nothing, or at least it wouldn't cause the explosion of an orgasm that we see in most porn. Moaning does sound good but it is so fake and such a joke. As everyone pretty much knows porn is made mostly for men, gay or straight. Even lesbian porn seems to be marketed mostly for men. It is young, feminine looking women, shaven and long haired, mostly having sex because they want to experiment. Of course experimentation is fine, but when it is portrayed as the only way a woman could have a lesbian experience, and she'll go back to her man after it's done, it's a problem.

Lesbians react to lesbian porn

On TV, lesbians are portrayed kind of the same way: feminine, young, and experimenting. After they are done with that one time fling, they go back to their boyfriend or start dating a new guy. There is that spectrum and women may only have a one time thing with a woman, but again it's a problem when it is the only way we see lesbians: they are sexy and lesbians for men. 

Even in society gays and lesbians cannot be themselves. My mother got married because she thought that was the only thing she could do. Of course she does not regret it because she had me (that's what she says) but it would have been better if she could have always been herself and always been with women from the start. So if lesbians are always portrayed as sexually frustrated women we as a society may not change our views on gays and lesbians. 

Ever since my friend started dating her now husband about two years ago, she has become a very different person. She used to be pretty liberal; she was pro-choice, pro gay rights, and other things that I was for as well. But now she is a conservative Christian Republican who calls women who get an abortion murders and thinks being gay is a choice. A couple months ago she compared my virginity to a wrapped present: every time I have sex I'm unwrapping the present more and more. Eventually, on my wedding night, all I'm going to have to give to my husband is a plain box. This made me laugh... For one thing, losing your virginity is a one-time thing; that present has been a plain box for a while now. Another thing is that she got pregnant before she was married. Sure, she was engaged but that doesn't matter. According to her and her Bible, you have to be married before you have sex. I honestly don't care what she has done, but I care that she criticizes me for this.

I started thinking about how our society and our media represents girls who don't fit into that perfect virginal box. We have seen the affects of Miley Cyrus's performance at the VMAs. It doesn't matter if other performers had acted the same way she did, she is no longer that little girl we knew and loved on Hanna Montana. I know people are probably sick and tired of hearing about Miley Cyrus but she was the first person who came to mind, and I think she makes a really good point. I think the other interesting thing about her is that she took a vow of abstinence, and now that she no longer is in that box and is showing her sexuality on stage (something that is done ALL THE TIME in music videos, by men and women) she is disgusting and a slut. 

My friend believes that her husband should make the money and she should stay home and raise the kids. Right now she is homeschooling her three year old daughter while also taking care of her eight-month old son. I don't know how she does it. She says that the man is the head of the household and makes the final decision as well; she is allowed to put in her opinion but he doesn't have to listen to it. That would drive me insane. This reminds me of the happy housewives, how they please their husband and raise their children but don't complain. This also fits into that box.

I can across this article this morning. This man has come up with 24 reasons for how a woman is classified as a slut. A few of the reasons are: She has tattoos (especially one's that are visible), has a "slut face" ("you either recognize it or you don't", he writes), she's not ticklish (she's used to being touched by men), has big tits (started messing around at a young age because her breasts starting growing in at a young age), and, my favorite of course, says she's a feminist (because most feminist believe in sexual freedom she'll be an easy lay). It's so sad because he has slept with, I'm sure, many women yet here he is commenting on how slutty these women are because they'd hook up with a stranger, the exact same thing he is doing. It's that double standard that we have about men and women: women have to be virgins and pure until marriage and men are excused for sleeping around before they get married.

I was looking through the comments on this article (bad idea...) and I came across this one:

"It was going around Tumblr as a "look how funny this article is" joke post. And then I came in here and saw all these women getting upset about it, and I'm like, "Really? You can't tell that this in jest? Calm the hell down."" 

Of course I get why people say that, but it just doesn't sit well with me. Regardless if this is "in jest" or not, it doesn't matter. It makes people think these sorts of views are okay, that women who sleep with strangers fall under the "slut" category and that all those characteristics make a woman a slut. I believe that the word "slut" is not bad, that it is something a woman can embrace, but I'm sure that's not what the author of this article had in mind.